So as it comes to the end of 2017 I sit here thinking about my goals for the coming year. I ponder on the difference of my goals compared to them 5 years ago and how I have done a lot of goal setting and also a lot of goal failing, the reason being – most of my goals were based on achieving, it was an endless of ‘to do’s’ in order ‘to get’ rather than ‘to be’.
For a life coach to admit that she had set goals and failed is rather brave of me however one of my biggest values is authenticity and what I know to be true is that without self knowledge you cannot set goals that are inline with your soul, I call these ‘goals with soul’ and they keep me on track with my life purpose and give my life meaning. When I have a feeling of purpose and meaning in my life I seem to radiate a level of joy that increases my vibration and in turn this leaves me feeling internally peaceful, grateful and content.
I realised that it wasn’t the actual goal it was the feeling that achieving the goal would give me, let me explain further.
I walk my dog with my son and once a week we go to a place in Throop Mill, it is one of my most favourite places and when I am there I walk past a certain cottage and I dream that one day I will live there and it will be mine.
I have this cottage on my vision board with the name of the road, the road is called Lavender Drive and in the middle of this road is a pond with ducks, it is so idyllic, the cottage I desire has a thatched roof and as I walk past the cottages I think about how wonderful the lives of everyone in those cottages must be. I came to realise after much pondering on my goal setting that what I actually want is the perceived ideal of what I think goes on inside this family home. What I am craving is a feelings to feel secure to feel peaceful and to have a family.
When I examine my life and ask do I have all of these the answer is YES absolutely I do, I have security in my knowing that I am here for a reason and to make a difference. I have a peace of mind which is an inner peace that the world can neither give to me nor take away and I have a family, it may not be your typical family but I have my son Preston, our doggy Frank, a beautiful relationship with my mum, my brothers and sister, friends that I consider to be my family, so in truth I may not own the bricks and mortar but I have all the desired feelings owning this home would bring me.
For me this is why I always failed at goal setting because in truth I didn’t know what was good for me, I was always on an endless pursuit of trying to fix the internal hole in my soul with outside stuff and when I had all this stuff it didn’t increase my level of happiness which in turn left me feeling confused and pissed off with myself.
So as the year ends I would ask you think carefully about the goals you set and what is your desired feelings. So many people have told me this year they feel lost, confused and unclear of their life’s purpose. I suggest that you make time for spiritual fitness as well as physical and emotional fitness.
For example if your goal is to loose weight then ask yourself why you want to loose weight. Is it that you want to appear more attractive to the opposite sex and in turn this will attract the right man. From experience this goal led me to loosing weight but it was from a place of self hatred rather than self love because the underlying reason is for someone to love me, but until I loved myself it didn’t matter how much weight I lost I never felt good enough. Today my goal for 2018 is body care, to eat healthy foods that nourish my spirit and my body, if I look to my body as a powerhouse of goodness the more good I put in the more I can give to the world. It is about self love and self respect and as I love and respect myself I am much less likely to look outside of myself for validation.
I really hope you found this article useful and as always I would love to hear your goals and feedback.
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Love and light as always